Getting Your Personal Power Back!
Updated: Nov 16
“I AM The Master Of My Fate, I AM The Captain Of My Soul.” ~ William Ernest Henley
Throughout your childhood upbringing you were trained to give up your power to authority figures. It could have been your parents, grandparents or doctors, for example, that took the role of authority figures in your life. I am sure you remember the adage, “You will respect your elders and do what they say or you will be grounded!”
Many children who hear that automatically go into fear mode. Within your child-like mind you may think to yourself, “I had better do what this person says or I will be in trouble.” This instills thoughts of fear into a child’s mind. It is the beginning stages of where you gave up your personal power and allowed others to control your emotions. As a result, this affects how you live the rest of your lives.
Growing into adulthood, you carry these fears with you. They are buried deep within the cells of your body and cause blocks that inhibit you from being your authentic self. These fears and blocks can cause issues not only within you, but in relationships with your families, friends and lovers. This also affects the decisions on how you choose to live your life.
When being the responsible adult of children, instead of using fear based tactics, do the opposite and approach them from a positive perspective. You could say, “Grandma is going to stay with you today while I go shopping. If you are good for Grandma while I am gone, we will have a game night when I get back.”
Doesn’t that sound a lot less threatening?
As a child with a hearing challenge and adapting to hearing aids at age 5, I would strive to be sure I heard what was said and understand it correctly.
I merely wanted to be understood. I would ask questions or maybe even speak up about something. But due to my father’s misunderstanding of me and my hearing challenges, he would immediately quip, “Children are to be seen and not heard unless spoken to!”
That immediately shut me down and I became fearful of his authority. I carried that with me into my adult life. From that statement, it basically degraded me to think I did not have a voice.
How ironic, that not only did it shut me down, it put me back in the box of a silent world I knew of so well before hearing aids. It seemed to be my safe place. If I can not hear anything, no one can hurt me.
From that point on and into adulthood I would almost always stay quiet, keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself. Whenever I was around anyone with authority I automatically became fearful of them. In my mind I thought, “Because they are authority figures, they would know best, and I am to be seen and not heard.”
Right?? Not necessarily.
Because of my father’s statement, I gave up my power.
I only share this with you because on many different levels this has happened to a lot of us. This is just one example that I lived through, seeing how it shaped me into adulthood.
It has only been within the last few years that I have begun to understand the triggers of the past and connect them with the present – what it means to regain my personal power.
In order to regain your power, you have to rewire your brain the opposite of what you were taught. I know, you are reading this and thinking to yourself “Yeah, right!” Trust me, after many years of struggling with people walking all over you, you will get to the breaking point to where enough is enough and you will want to regain your power. Keep in mind that this takes time, so honor, love and be patient with yourself throughout this process.
A few tips to help you regain your personal power…
Instead of ignoring the past, use the uneasiness of your feelings to create awareness to regain your power.
* Allow yourself to feel the emotions of those triggered feelings. Be present and shift your
attention to your body. Rest into your emotions and expand with them without suppressing
* Be open to connecting with those feelings of the past. Open yourself up to knowing how the
past is connected to the present moment.
* As an emotion crops up from the past, understand the connection, feel it, honor it and let it go.
Say to yourself, “This memory has no power over me. I have power of myself.”
Repeat this affirmation to yourself every morning in the mirror…
I AM ME and no one can take that away from me!
The Beauty of You…
With mindful presence and making the connection to your past, you begin your journey of reintegrating your past and regaining your personal power.
As you regain your personal power with expanded mindful awareness, and understanding the connections of your past to your present, you develop greater compassion for yourself and others in your life.
"I am me and honestly that is something you can never be" ~Unknown